blissfully beached

Featured Writer: Scar*let Nguni

Once upon a not-so-long ago, I took a little trip up the west coast to the quaint former fishing village of Paternoster. Now, it bears noting Ma Ngnuialmost moved there 15 years ago – but didn’t (the real estate values shot skyward and it’s safe to say Moo Moolicious missed the property boat boom) and I managed to write-off my champagne silver Mazda on a dirt by-road in the vicinity. As such, it’s a place of desolate beauty which holds a strange charm for this familial herd.

The visit was more of a recce for Ma Nguni and a two day holiday for me. I went for long ‘constitutionals’ along the beach, read books and snapped a few photographs while Ma and The Bee Whisperer went off for to explore the surrounds. It was peacefully ‘rustig’ and very much what I needed after the intense craziness of this wild rollercoaster ride of a year. In fact, I could do with another one right about now…

*

gull a bill?

Conveniently close to Cape Town (an hour on the open road once you get past the Blouberg metropol shambles), this little seaside town is a prefect one night getaway  – or leisurely lunch. And if you’re in the mood for a little Sunday drive out west, I have just the spot in mind: The Noisy Oyster.

booked!

A fabulously festive Hemmingway-esque nook that boosts a fine wine list and some seriously delicious food. They also stock a bevvy of local beers (I got Ma Nguni and The Bee Whisperer both hooked on Darling Brew) and you know there’s nothing quite like a cold one on a hot summer’s night (wolf with red roses served separately) or boozy Sunday lunch. We booked for dinner (I’m Ms Order, remember, I like doing rational things like ‘booking’ – sue me, Drama Queens!) and yours truly was surprised when its owner greeted me with an enthusiastic bear hug. Just so happens we have ‘history’: Karl and I worked together at Zero Nine Three Two back when I was still studying and seriously ser-i-as about everything. He still has photo’s of the crew (including another ex boyfriend and his crack peddling sister) so we chatted merrily about ‘the good old days’  even though we’d worked for a right royal wanker (who now runs a little spot in Hout Bay – I bumped into earlier this year when I was living/dying there with Dax-a-do. Bad things seem to gravitate to The Bay…)

A ‘palace of necessity’ run with verve and passion, their menu changes daily (foreplay and intercourse, of course! Karl always had a wicked sense of humour) based on what’s fresh and flipping. We indulged in freshly shucked sea-sweet oysters, patagonian calamari sautéed in smoked paprika, thai duck curry (heavenly!), pan grilled fresh hake and yellowtail fish (with citrus butter, bru) roasted to perfection. I vaguely remember dessert being both impressive and lovely but try as I might to rack my brain as to what exactly I had, I can’t get past spun sugar (probably means it was crème brûlée) or the duck (I’m ready to drive back for that!). Whatever it was, it was great. This is an excellent spot for a year end function or birthday party (pity for me they’re closed in July).

in-formed

{ aside }

Another notable about Paternoster is the pastel hues which bedeck the sky as the sun sinks into the sea. Where I’m from in Scarborough, the sun sets electric almost every evening but it seems up west, the solar king goes ‘gently into the dark night’ affording visitors a certain calm zen feel. A great place to sit outside and contemplate the long unbroken beach and nightly natural display is the Voorstandt where you can sip a slow brew or chilled chardonnay and reflect on how lucky we are to live beside an ocean in Africa

…

foreplay... and intercourse

Contact

Tel 022-752-2196, email karlj@vodamail.co.za

Paternoster is also notable for its endless, white beaches and pastel hues as the sun sinks into the calm sea. Where I’m from in The Deep South, the sunsets are electric but up west it seems the solar king goes ‘gently into the dark night’, affording visitors a certain sense of zen.